It is the chocolate and kisses of life that make us rich. Enjoy what brings a smile to my face and love to my life.....

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Wedding Jitters

The time is approaching very quickly. I feel myself getting upset over everything. All the decisions that need to be made are making my brain feel scrambled. I'm trying to get everything done but I am feeling slightly overwhelmed. They said this would happen. They also said that in the end, everything is going to come together beautifully.

If you have never planned a wedding before, you don't realize the drama that it might entail. You always think everything is going to be perfect, because its YOUR time. You think that all those around you will show amazing amounts of support because its that special time in your life. Well, it has been a little different for me. Maybe it's just a fairy tale that I've envisioned in my mind, or maybe I thought too highly of the ones that I've chosen? Whatever it may be, it's taken the wind out of my sails.
While I've tried to be there for everyone in their problems, I have taken away from my own happiness and glory. I'm not doing it anymore.

Do not think that I am not happy about marrying my Mr. As I told him last night, I would get married today, tomorrow and forget about all this drama. But he doesn't think thats what I really want. Is it?

As the days go by, I find myself thinking about the past. About my childhood, my family, the good and the bad. All of it. You never forget your loved ones, and it's moments like these that you miss the ones you've lost even more, if thats possible. You also find yourself getting angry at the one that decided to walk away.  The one person that little girls are suppose to idolize their whole lives, who in reality has let you down over and over again.

As you can see, I am just putting my thoughts out there. Maybe by doing so I will be able to just move forward and LOVE this moment that I am in. I'm happily engaged to the man I'm going to marry in less than three months. I'm hoping our future is long and healthy. I'm picturing the kids we will have together, soon. It doesn't get better than that.
When we met almost 7 years ago. 
Me: "But I'm wonderful"
Him: "Crazy girl"

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