Body Image Vs. Health

All of us have body image issues, whether we are overweight, underweight or in "our perfect weight range." None of us will ever look in the mirror and think that we are the best, because we are our WORST critics. If it's not our butt that looks too big, it's that our hair is too frizzy. You just can't win. But, you can learn to accept yourself the way you are, and make changes physically and psychologically that can make you feel like a BETTER you!

I am reminded every day that I go to work, how blessed I am to be alive and healthy. I may carry some extra pounds that I need to get rid of, but I have my health. If I want to keep it that way, I know I need to lose weight, and I am striving to do that.

At work, I see people in their sickest moments. Most days I am slapped with a reality check, such as the other day.  I was going in to check on my patient, when I saw his wife kissing him, her dying husband, knowing that those were his last few moments. This very emotional experience lingered in my mind for a  few days, as I thought about that person often and couldn't help but picture myself as if I was in their situation. While these experiences make it easier for me to see that I am so grateful for everything in life, some days my body image issues come creeping back in, as if they were the worst thing that could happen. I know that it is not what really matters in life and that's why I need to take a step back to really look at the bigger picture.

Because for me, this is what matters.....

and this.....

and all my family and friends.

This is my year to change how I feel towards myself. To make ME the best ME for my future. To change my negative thoughts into positive ones and to embrace both the good and bad. I will always have body image issues, everyone does. But I can control how much I let it get in the way of a fabulous life, and that's what I'm going to do. LIVE.

Buffalo Chicken Dip....YUM

Ah, yes the day of good eats & lots of yelling at the television: Super Bowl! I am not one for football. Not to say that I don't enjoy watching hot men tackle each other with tight pants on, wait was I suppose to say that?!? Despite the fact that I don't have a favorite sports team, I did partake in some super bowl festivities. While I got there late (as always when the man isn't around, why is that?), I was able to enjoy some family bonding and good laughs. Have I mentioned that my mother is a nut? I should write a blog and just quote her. THAT would be a funny blog too good to resist!!

For my dish, I made my all time favorite dip. So easy. So delicious. Ok, maybe it comes in second to DG's spinach and artichoke dip but that isn't the title of this blog, is it? There are different variations of this dip, so you can make it anyway you like.....I like it this way.

Ingredients: Chicken, 1 cup ranch dressing, 1 cup Franks hot sauce, 2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, 8 oz cream cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Meanwhile, boil a pot of water, add chicken and cook until cooked through and easy to shred. I eyeball the amount I use, but it's usually between 12-16 ounces.

Cut cold cream cheese (cold is better, cuts easier) into 8 cubes and arrange on the bottom of baking dish.

Add hot sauce, ranch dressing and cheese on top of cream cheese.

Place in oven uncovered for 10 minutes, take out and stir. Place back in oven for another 10 minutes.

When chicken is cooked, shred and add to rest of mixture. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for an additional 20-30 minutes.

Serve with whatever you fancy. Tortilla chips, bread, crackers, celery, peppers, chocolate. Maybe not, although chocolate goes with anything these days.

This dip is fantastic. It's creamy, spicy, salty and slathered on anything, tastes oh so good. It's up there with chocolate cake. If you haven't yet, try it.

Carbs, Carbs, Carbs

I have always been a lover of all things carb related. Give me a piece of bread, and I'll have two more thanks. Crackers, pretzels, pasta, sweets, it's a downfall.

But then I started to notice how those foods make me feel. Bloated, uncomfortable, tired, irritable and in 30 minutes after eating them, I could see the scale go up. No I am not one to get on the scale after every thing I eat. I did a little experiment and I "gained" 3 lbs after eating 2 pieces of toast! I know that I didn't truly gain that but it did trigger my interest.

So I try to stay away from breads, pastas, crackers and sweets. Being that my blog title is Lovin' Chocolate Cake, you can see that some days it's not the easiest thing to do, and I do fail. But I figure it's how I embrace that fail, learn from it, move on, and keep a positive attitude. I have to remind myself before giving in to temptation, that I don't like feeling swollen, unhappy with stomach pain at the end of the night, because I most certainly do NOT! 

This doesn't always make foods completely interesting to me though. I am an Italian girl and I LOVE LOVE LOVE pasta dishes & pizza. So I have to learn how to substitute. Spaghetti squash is my new best friend, we are spending a lot of time together during these cold months.  You can only eat so many proteins and veggies without going crazy sometimes. You have to change things up, to keep your palate interested so that you stick with the plan. It's an every day challenge.

If you haven't noticed, I'm a little obsessed with the funny cartoons. Oh well.

Been to the Bottom

It's 2003, I'm trying to button a pair of jeans, but they wont fit over my stomach. I'm crying and pulling my hair at how I've let myself get to this point. That was when everything changed for me. I started to eat healthy and exercise on a very regular basis.

I was in my prime, and I felt great about every choice I made. It was the first time in my life that I felt happy and just accepted myself. Then I met this guy.

My love for him runs deep. So does his love for food. Which in turn, allowed my love for food to come rolling back into my life. I thought I had a handle on my healthier lifestyle. In the beginning of us dating, I maintained my eating habits with some "unhealthy moments" but I still exercised and everything was alright. Then we moved in together and I believe it has been a very bad cliche of a downward spiral.  For example:

~What he ate, I ate

~When he laid on the couch, so did I

~His portions were my portions

~His lack of exercise was my lack of exercise

While I made note of these bad habits, and I did have some motivation at times, I have led myself back down a path to a very unhappy unhealthy pre-2003 girl. 

And I am done. Tomorrow is a new day, a new life, a start to a new me. Enough with talking, it's about doing. 

How I long for summer......

I know that I live in New England. I know that we have four seasons, and I KNOW that I hate one of them. Winter. I use to love it, when I was in elementary school. But now, while it may be pretty the first day, it definitely annoys me more than anything. I don't get snow days anymore, and I can't jump for joy when there are delays. Why you ask? Well just like every other adult in this world, our jobs don't work like that! (Unfortunately!!)

So while I am stuck looking at this........

and this

while also staring sadly at this

which to you guys looks like just a bunch of snow, BUT in a few months (ok a little more than just a few) it'll be back to looking like this!

But it's going to be ok, because the countdown has started In 144 days I'll be in Antigua, soaking up some sun, drinking cocktails, and winter will be a very distant memory!

Until then, i'll sip on some much needed java.

Do you like my coaster? Love this book, one of the best investments I've made. I have an addiction to fitness magazines, books and cookbooks. Maybe one day I will give in and take a picture of my bin to show you how deep this obsession is. Maybe, one day.

Day One

Day one was a success. Woke up (although on these cold mornings, our beds feel so pleasantly warm, huh?), put some laundry in, loaded the dishwasher and got to my workout:

~ 20 minutes elliptical intervals, levels 4 and 7

~ 30 minutes treadmill walking @ 3.5

~ biceps & squats

Then continued on with the day and some eats throughout the day:

Slice of homemade quiche with NSA ketchup

1 green bell pepper

Medium dunkin donuts FV coffee with splenda

2 babybel cheese

1 cup celery with 2 tbsp roasted red pepper hummus

The man came home and we ventured out in search of a camera. I have a basic kodak camera that was bought for me years ago by my love, but it's not a very good camera. (Although I loved it when he bough it for me, first camera ever!) After going to Sears, Walmart & Target with no luck (and really bad service at all three) the tummy was rumbling.

So we decided to head to Maggie's to enjoy some eats. When we got there we were both famished and had no idea what to get. Note to self: when hungry do NOT go to a restaurant with pages and pages of choices. We started off the with the spinach and artichoke dip. It comes with bread, homemade potato chips, tortilla chips and an assortment of veggies. Then man ate the bread and potato chips while I feasted on the tortilla chips and veggies. As always, it was a winner.

Then for my entree I enjoyed a "garbage burger" that included melted american cheese, mushrooms and onions, no bun with a side caesar salad. Sorry no picture of the burger! 

All in all, an uneventful day BUT I did eat intuitively and mostly healthy, plus I got my exercise in. So on to today, we have about 2 feet already of snow and it's still coming. The dilemma, to drive to work and be a wreck, or well, not. We shall see.

Wedding Bliss

Exactly five months from today I will be marrying this guy :-)   

and I can't wait!!! 

I was never one of those girls who had dreamed of her wedding all of her life. It's not that I didn't have dreams, I was just focused more on the present and pursuing my nursing career. But, from the moment I met him, I knew he was "the one" :-) He only made me wait about 5 years before poppin' the ultimate question one year ago, and now only five months left! 

So for the next five months, I'm going to be on my best behavior (with food and exercise) so that I feel beautiful on the day I marry the man that makes my heart swoon. Today is day 1, I'll let you know how it goes!!!

Question: Any advice on how to keep focused on staying on track while stressing (in a good way!) about the upcoming nuptials?

Numero Uno.....

After months and months of continuous blog reading, I've decided that it is time to start my own! While most of the blogs that I "religiously" follow are of those who are maintaining their healthy lifestyles, this is the start of mine. I know what it feels like to make healthier choices and to exercise to make myself feel better, but over the past few years I've allowed that choice to fade into the background. My love for food has gone way past my need into an obsession and I'm ready to get back in control. I'm ready to be the driving force in my life, and hopefully some of you will be around supporting me for the ride!! First task at hand: Say NO to this....

so I can say YES to me!!!